Join: October 12th 2004 9:34 pm Posts: 2577 Location: Toronto, Canada
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I thought it would be a good idea to post T'Bone's challenge. Great read:
GOT GAS?
Being a fan of Star Wars since the time it first graced the screen, once in a while things get so ridiculous out there in the online fandom world that I feel a compelling need to speak out and just let loose. This is one of those times.
The general public might not be aware of this but those harbingers of every rumor known to man, TheForce.Net LLC (look it up) under the ownership of Sir Philip "I'm getting too old for this" Wise and the soon-to-be-resigned (whatever that means) Pastor Joshua "King of all sheep" Griffin, decided that since news was slow, they'd resort to basically posting any single rumor that comes in, regardless of how silly it may be and without really checking it out. See, basically, if you post everything possible at the wall and then something sticks, you get bragging rights and can say, "You saw it here first." We're all guilty of it to a degree but they seem to really take it to the limit. I try to make sure anything I say or post is at least somewhat legit before letting it fly. I use every resource I can to try and verify things and if I can't I'll fully disclose that it's just rumor and not to be taken seriously.
Anyhow, the folks over at that site love to post just about anything that makes Lucasfilm look silly, anything that will cause controversy, and anything that they think will make fans freak out. You see, negativity drums up more publicity. Take this scenario: It's a full seven months or so until the release of EPISODE III. If I were to post a review today and say I saw the film and it's great, without giving away anything, it might make a few headlines and then it'll go away. If I were to post a scathing review saying EPISODE III is going to be crap, the acting is terrible, Jar Jar is annoying, the plot leaves you unsatisfied, Vader sucks, etc., then you'll see that spread around the net, and probably into magazines and TV, like wildfire and fans will go berserk resulting in weeks and weeks of debates and deliberations on message boards about how Lucas sucks and how he's screwed up the franchise.
So that being said, they decided to post this on 8/26: http://cgi.theforce.net/theforce/tfn.cgi?storyID=24672
Basically it's a report of a rumor they were sent, posted verbatim, stating that there's a scene in EPISODE III where Yoda cuts the cheese, farts, breaks wind, lets one rip or whatever colloquialism you want to use. Ridiculous, you say? Wait, it doesn't stop there.
Of course they posted this completely baseless rumor to stir up the sheep pot, ruffle the sheep feathers, and in the process make Lucas look like an ass without saying as much. So, the sheep took it and ran and it escalated to conspiracy theory proportions. It's so out of hand now that people are worshipping the ground that Griffin walks on, holding him high on some sort of sheep pedestal. All hail king of the sheep! He can have that title, actually.
The only good thing about it is that it's mostly contained, like a bad virus, over at their message boards but it's starting to leak out. You see, Griffin is getting off on leaking little bits of spoilerish items via the boards there. In the process, sheep are coming up with theories of their own saying things like Josh has seen the rough cut of the film, Josh has the script, Josh is secretly working in conjunction with Lucas HIMSELF: no I'm not making any of this up. Only deluded sheep could think up this kind of stuff and spread it around. And Josh is eating it all up. Will he come out and say he saw the film? Will he say he has the script?
The answer is no he won't. Why? Because he has NOT seen the film and he does NOT have the script. I can tell you this with certainty so you'll just have to take my word on it. Will any of us get the script? Probably. Will any of us get to see the film early? It's possible but not likely. But as of NOW, he has nothing but rumors and some stuff from licensees. Let me say it again so that the sheep can really hear me: Josh has not seen EPISODE III. Get it through your heads.
While I'm at it - let me clear up another misconception once and for all so this thing will die as it should. Listen carefully, sheep. Yoda does NOT fart in this film. Yoda NEVER farted in this film. This was NEVER, EVER in the script nor was it in any rough cut as Griffin so confidently says on his boards. Now look, ILM has played jokes and done funny things from time to time so I'm not saying the rumor is totally unfounded and no one ever made Yoda fart as a joke on the set, BUT I can tell you with absolute certainty (and you'll just have to trust me on this - it's not speculation) that Yoda farting was NEVER in the film or script - ever. Not in a rough cut, not in an old draft. IT WAS NEVER THERE. OK? There ya go. So stop worrying all about it. Stop picking it apart - it's not real.
The sick part of all this is that Josh is letting this stuff fester over there and grow like a dark mold all over the fan base. Enthusiasm is one thing but the conversations over there are simply mind-numbing and completely sickening, to be honest. You would think that Josh Griffin was C-3PO in the middle of a tribe of Ewoks.
But to make things worse - it's now making headlines on web sites all over and I'm sure some of the actual legit media will pick up on this as well. When they hear someone has seen a screening of the film, they get excited and run stories..and that's what these guys love: to see their names in the papers. It's fun to be recognized once in a while and be in the media but this is just ridiculous. Letting people believe you saw a rough cut to get some publicity is right up there on par with SS (posting from year 1998).com and his stories about being personal friends with Lucas. Even Aint-It-Cool-News picked up on the story and ran with it, stating that Josh has seen a rough cut. They talk about the Yoda fart and all that stuff too. I can't believe for a minute that you guys would really believe all this stuff.
If Josh wants to be a man and prove himself, I call on him on behalf of all fans who are actually semi-normal and have lives to admit that he hasn't seen the film and has no script, therefore ending this silly dog and pony show once and for all. He should correct these stories and stop leading on fans who are just trying to enjoy the time until the film is released, because when you think about it, it's kind of cruel in a way, what he's doing. It's like taking quarters off of old men in Florida. Wise up, sheep. You're being played. Online fandom has hit an all-time low.
And here's one more before I go - because I love debunking more than I love posting spoilers. Josh Griffin has mentioned a list of three things on his boards from EPISODE III. They are, in his words:
Odd Ball - a clone pilot that defends Obi-Wan's crippled ship after he is hit by flak. Order 66 - the directive Palpatine gives to wipe out the Jedi. The Clones turn at this point. Delegation of 2000 - the united Senators and politicians against Palpatine. They are concerned about his powers. This is the start of the Rebellion, before the Empire even takes shape. All I can tell you here is that only ONE Of these is in the final film. You'll have to figure that one out though as I can't tell ya.
Josh Griffin - you are a sick little monkey. In your "review of sorts" you're posting soon, say you saw the film. I dare you.
And with that, I'm outta here. Make sure you vote, people. Don't believe everything you read on those TFN LLC message boards. Josh is just a man, not some sort of god. Stop kissing his ass. The trailer comes out next week and you're going to be happy. HAPPY. EPISODE III is going to rock and rock hard. Be positive about the film and remember... just like women, Yoda never farts.
Until next time, Blog on. T-out. Happy Halloween.
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