That is all!

And a Merry XXX-Mas to you as well!

Now where is the free porn I was hoping for?

You asked...






And for you non-Troy types

And happy fucking New Year!!!

Btw, in 2012 I'm trying to encourage people about this whole Mayan doomsday bit, in the hopes that social dynamics will break down and we can finally "Mad-Max" the planet. My warlord-of-the-wasteland plans are finely honed and ready. I'm going to horde toothpaste, tampons, and bullets for starters. That shit will be like gold I tell ya.

And in other encouraging news, we can finally say the Avengers movie comes out THIS year. Woo-hoo!!

That bitch needs a cheeseburger.

Btw, Cryo I appreciate your interaction. Truly I do. But to rip-off a phrase from former MF-all stars of days long gone, there's a crusty layer of fucking weak-sauce* all over your attempts at internet-ninjitsu, in response to the previously mentioned free porn.

When one talks about free porn, they mean "actual" free porn. Not, well, that stuff above.

Plus, I think I've mentioned I like my women from thick, to downright hefty, on several occasions. If that present was meant for me I hope you included a gift reciept because I'm gonna return it for store credit somewheres. That gal's ribcage is poking out. She looks like she's going to poop, but she would have to have eaten first and we all know that hasn't happened in days.

Please, don't take this post the wrong way. Afterall I didn't get you anything.

Sir, what kind of troll would I be if I got you exactly what you wanted, eh? it's always best when it's just off the mark.

Just to show I'm not a bad sport though....here a cheeto.

I see.

Wait, I don't see anything but a girl who just got more food stuck in her ass-crack than a whole gang of North Koreans get to eat all week. Which would be okay if there were accompanying imagery of the removal of said food products from her ass-crack by a couple of asian women. You are promoting the inequity of this world by using such images in jest. You are a nazi, and considering the lack of actual adult themed content, I suspect you are a Mormon Nazi. Or a girl.

Or maybe Mitt Romney.

Btw, I am known as 'Uncle Troll' to several of my neices and nephews who just could not pronounce my name. You'd think I'd have a better understanding of the trolling concept you speak of. I went for the 'obvious Nazi debasement' strategy here, and I think I have to disqualify myself for it now. I suppose I concede to your superiority in this battle, and thanks again for your participation.

Did you just call me a mormon?

Them's fightin' words son!

~~~~~^~~~~~
CHOMP!CHOMP!!

Superman, bringing petting to a whole new level...

so isn't this supposed to be the last year before the end of the world or some shit like that? oh well, it's just the destruction of Earth and the end of humanity. no big loss, really. if we kept going we'd just end up making a hash of everything sooner or later anyway.

speaking of hash, 2011 featured way less than usual for me. I miss the good old days of constant sex, drugs, and debauchery! does life after college just keep getting more and more boring? c'est la vie.

HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!

Yes, adult life just gets more and more boring.


And then you die.


So I say, spice things up with your own brand of 'crazy'. You know you've gotten old when you transition from people calling you 'weird' to now calling you 'eccentric'.

You onlly get to be eccentric when you have $$....and none of us have that much.

Speak for yourself.

I plan on being filthy rich. And then I plan on using that wealth to finance my world takeover, part of which is eliminating currency systems.

Climb the ladder, reach the top, burn down the ladder. Then, no one can follow behind you trying to take your place. It's a lesson I learned from a little-noticed event called "The Federal Reserve Act of 1913".

So yeah, obviously I'm still just "weird". But I look totally normal from a distance.

See, i'm completely the opposite.

I'm gonna win the lottery, buy an island and let anarchy take society down. Then, when it's all done, I'll move in and take over.

Unfortunately, most of us are just herd animals, sheep that meerly play at being gods. We can contemplate anarchy, but the majority will always be too cowardly to enact it. One power falls, another moves into the vacuum. Repeat. Ancient history.

Besides, destructive anarchy in the social break-down sense sounds like a bad idea. It would be hard to get laid, and not get VD, in a gloomy post-apocalyptic wasteland. I like fat chicks. Starving people means few fat chicks. Bad idea.

So what I'm getting at is if you do win the lottery, donate a bunch of $ to my campaign for 2016.

The "I Have A Suit Too" cross-country tour could use a bus, or a few free lunches, if you know what I'm saying. ( )

Interesting....what's your campaign slogan?

I'm not as much a fan of slogans as I am of sarcasm. But in the interest of expressing my actual motives to future voters I intend to use a great deal of positive-populist jargon-rehash. Totally under wraps until the book comes out in 2014.

So you're following the Newt Gingrich model?

The box is the same, but what's inside is totally different. For instance, Newt is a dumb-ass and kind of a racist. I am a pacifist super-genius. And I am much better looking.

Btw, isn't the Newt Gingrich Model really just all about coming in 3rd place everywhere and getting lucky that the media refuses to cover Ron Paul?

Na, it's about open marriages, and hiding your coke addiction

Well, I don't have either. So maybe I'm not following his blue-print properly.

Didn't he say a while back that the palestinians were a "made-up race" or something like that? Just wondering, even if you thought that to yourself, wouldn't actually verbalizing that, and standing vehemently behind it to international press-coverage seem like a foreign policy mistake? Like a glaring and obvious mistake, the potential spinning of which will never appear positive to a vast majority of the world? A mistake that might illustrate a future approach that would greatly undermine American interests abroad, perhaps? Even if it were true, wouldn't forcing this perspective out at the world seem like a bad risk to take?

A nation run by a "President" Gingrich would be 'a shitty place I wouldn't like to live in'. If Americans elect him, the whole bunch of you are nuts and I am ashamed of you. Same goes for Romney. What a stroke. I say fuck it, elect Ron Paul so we can watch what happens if someone honest tries to make a progressive change, regardless of the demands of the establishment. I like fireworks, and it can't get much worse for the commoners in this country before they get violent. Or if not, just leave Obama in office for another term mainly to appease future internal race relations in this country, and elect me in 2016.

If the hillbillys in this country thought it was bad having a black president, wait until I tell them Spanish has become an official second language, and we should all learn it. Pronto. Chinese language shoud also be made available to the general public. This way we will be able to ask all these people to stop working so cheaply, and to buy our shit. I plan on annexing all of central and South America anyway, so speaking to our new countrymen will be easier if we learn their language too (except for those crazy brazillians). Klansmen will miss the days of Obama when I, the blonde haired blue eyed white devil, make them learn spanish and tell them their life is equal to some diseased donkey-dancer in tijuana.

Newt seems to be missing that whole filter between his brain and mouth. Much of the current GOP front runners lack this.

Just so you know, it's okay to be missing that filter if you are a decent person. Or remarkably funny. Neither of which seems to be popular these days.

I have a strong hunch that Newt may in fact be the Antichrist and bring about our demise on December 21.

I am not alone in this theory.

Ron Paul all the way, baby!

If this whole world can be undone by a smarmy little nitwit like Newt, then fuck it. Burn this muthafucka down.

I've seen kids that were smarter, and more threatening than him. If we cannot withstand the onslaught of the shamelessly self-interested, we don't deserve this planet.

I'm still waiting on Ralph Nader to run...