I've made this post many times before, but I will do it again for shits n gigs:
HOW THE LOVE STORY WAS EDITED TOGETHER:
1) Aboard the transport: "Forbidden love" introduced, we see Anakin still wants to bang Padme, Padme finds this awkward
2) Walk to the Palace: We really don't learn much at all about their relationship here
3) Audience with the Queen: Could be the most boring scene in all of Star Wars, again, says very little about the two's relationship, except Padme seems to think she's better than Anakin, she still seems to not have any feelings for Anakin
4) Kiss by the lake: OK, so now all of a sudden they are speaking to one another as if they feel some affection, and then they start making out...Padme letting Anakin do this seems out of place at this point, b/c they've had no sexual tension thus far or any signs of physical chemistry.
5) Meadow Picnic: Alludes to some of the themes of the relationship, duty versus desire, responsibility politics versus desire, etc., probably the most important thing in the scene is Anakin's political views, which show some Vader-esque ness, but again, nothing to do with their relationship. The rolling around on the grass now seems out of place and superflous, b/c they kissed by the lake, we already know their is apparently some sparks, but rolling in the grass is a step down from the kiss, so what's the point
6) Anakin whispers sweet nothings: Finally, a really good scene for the love story, I don't care what you say about the dialogue, it at least lays out the conflicts the two face. But the desire versus duty stuff is somewhat thin at this point. It's not a full fledged theme.
7) Love pledge: We don't really get back into the love story until this point, at the arena, when Padme tells Anakin she loves him. It should seem a little out of left field, okay, so we are to believe she is attracted to him based on what we've been told, but we haven't really seen much chemistry at this point, and only one scene in the film has detailed Padme's conflict btwn her duty and wanting Anakin. We aren't thinking "finally she says it!!" as we should be, but "umm...yea, okay, I guess" and the scene, which had the potential to rival the Han-Leia carbonite scne in power, only has a moderate impact b/c of it.
HOW THE LOVE STORY SHOULD HAVE BEEN EDITED TOGETHER:
1) Aboard the transport: "Forbidden love" introduced
2) Extended walk to the Palace: So we learn Padme wants a family, wants to settle down, but feels obligated to her job, important to know. (CUT AUDIENCE W THE QUEEN)
3) Family scenes: Establishes everything we need to know essentially, Padme has a great deal of inner conflict between her duties and her wanting a life of her own and a family. It's clear she's physically attracted to Anakin, but she can't do anything about it.
4) Meadow picnic: This scene should come BEFORE the kiss. Now their little roll in the grass is a logical sexual tension leading up to what will come next. It's clear they both want each other, but at this point they are still feeling unsure about their feelings, and if they are right to give into them.
5) The kiss: We've now spent a good deal building up to this kiss, so it has a much greater impact. Padme's pulling away likewise has more impact, b/c we now understand how bad she wants the relationship, yet how obligated she feels to order and duty.
6) Anakin whispers sweet nothings: Again, we have a much, much greater understanding of their conflicts and now we really believe the things Padme is saying. We feel for both characters and have stake in the outcome of the relationship.
7) Love pledge: The moment the film has been building up to, Padme finally admits her feelings, the ones she has had all along and that we as an audience have been rooting for her to express. They kiss, good stuff.
The version as seen in the film is ADEQUATE, we see the romance only through Anakin's eyes, and we feel very detatched from Padme. We already knew how Anakin felt going into the film anyway, so it all has a bit of a perfunctory feel to it. Yet, like I said, it is adequate, but the scripted version (plus the so obvious change of switching the kiss and the meadow scene) make it far more than adequate. It makes the love story the center of the film as it should've been, and it makes it strong, believable and engaging. It was basically all there in the script, GL and probably Ben friggin Burtt decided to hack it up.
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