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Leigh Brackett's Empire Strikes Back Screenplay • February 17 1978
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Author:  E_CHU_TA! [ May 18th 2010 11:43 am ]
Post subject:  Leigh Brackett's Empire Strikes Back Screenplay • February 17 1978
An early draft of ESB was posted at myPDFscripts.com. Most of this info was discussed in the Star Wars: The Annotated Screenplays book.

[spoil]
[align=left]Check out some of the details from Brackett’s script here below. (Geeks of Doom)

- On the Rebel base, Leia talks to Han about his stepfather, an extremely powerful man named Ovan Marekal.

- After Luke escapes the Wampa cave, Obi-Wan doesn’t appear to him with the message to go to Yoda on Dagobah.

- There’s no banter about going out to rescue Luke; instead, Han and Leia lead a search party to find Luke and they do so quickly.

- While Luke is in sick bay, he describes the snow creatures that attacked him (what becomes the Wampas); Commander Willard asks him if he thinks these snow creatures pose a threat to the Rebel base, and as it turns out, they are attacking it at that very moment! There’s no sexual-tension exchange between Han and Leia. And Leia doesn’t plant that incestuous kiss on Luke… just then, but when she returns to visit him later on, the script says that we see them “in the midst of a tentative, and very tender love scene.” Ooh!

- There’s an Imperial city-planet known as Ton Muund, which is the center of the Empire. The first time Vader appears in the film, he’s in his quarters there finding out the location of the Rebel Base.

- As Darth Vader and his troops prepare to invade the Rebel base, Vader mentioned Luke Skywalker by name, saying how Luke used the Force to help him target to destroy the Death Star.

- Later, the snow-creatures return and attack the base with a plan to rid the Rebels from their planet for good. This is what prompts the discussion of the Rebels’ evacuation, which leads to Luke sensing a dark disturbance in the Force (which is Vader and his men about to invade).

- Dagobah is referred to as the Bog planet and Luke is comatose as he approaches it, thanks to Vader Force-choking him from afar. There he meets a “frog-like” creature named Minch (Yoda). Bog was a training center for young Jedi, and that’s where Obi-Wan trained. Later on, Minch demonstrates a Jedi duel, calling upon Obi-Wan (”By the Force, I call you!” Minch says, summoning Obi-Wan) to be his opponent.

- While the Millennium Falcon is in the asteroid field, Han kisses Leia; she kisses him back at first then goes to smack him (something she did too on the Rebel base). Han then demands to know if she loves Luke.

- Darth Vader has pet gargoyles.

- Lando Calrissian is known here as Lando Kadar and his family were refugees of the Clone Wars. He was an “honest smuggler,” according to Han, who had “gone respectable on a world called Hoth.” As they approach the place, it is a world “shrouded in clouds.” Han tells Leia that Hoth means “cloud.” When they arrive, a group of white-haired, white-skinned “tall, noble-looking warriors” with pneumatic dart weapons comes at them. We find out later that these are the native White Bird clan of the Cloud People.

- Princess Leia’s alias on the Hoth/Lando planet is Ethania Eredith, the daughter of a smuggler who Han found stranded on an unpleasant world.

- Luke is finally able to summon Obi-Wan, who brings along Luke’s father! His father asks if him if he knows about his sister (the draft has the name Nellith, but it’s crossed out a few times and replaced with “sister”). His father says he can’t reveal her name for fear that Darth Vader would read Luke’s mind and find out about her. Luke then takes the oath of the Jedi Knight; afterward, Minch says Luke’s real test [of resisting the Dark side of the Force] will come from Vader.

- Leia suspects that Lando is a clone; he later confirms that he is a clone of the Ashardi family, that his great-greatfather wanted many sons, so he had clones of himself made. Lando says after the Clone Wars, there aren’t many of them left. Before the wars, he’d see his own face on many people in the street and that it gave them a “sense of oneness, of belonging.” Later, when he betrays Han and Leia, he’s not remorseful at first.

- Vader knows that Luke is in love with Leia, so he is going to use her to get to Luke.

- When Luke arrives at the Hoth cloud city, the White Clan warriors nearly attack them, but then help him with his encounter with Vader and then try to fight off the Imperial troops.

- When Luke and Vader have their lightsaber duel, Luke inadvertently uses the Dark side of the Force. Later, there’s no reveals or surprises, and Luke isn’t injured. Vader just wants Luke to join him to rule the galaxy. Luke escapes the fight the same way, but when he lands, he sees the Falcon and jumps on it; Chewbacca lets him into the ship. No Leia Force-like ability at play. Everyone escapes in the end, including Han.

- The story ends on the planet Besspin Kaalieda, with the group saying their farewells. Leia is with Han, telling him “come back to me” because she loves him; Han is leaving with Chewbacca to meet with Ovan Marekal like he was supposed to at the beginning of the film. Luke still loves Leia, but now in a different way since he has matured. Luke, Leia, Lando, C3PO, and R2-D2 watch as the Falcon takes off; Luke ignites his lightsaber in salute. THE END.
[/spoil]
[/align]
Author:  Duke [ May 18th 2010 11:55 am ]
Post subject: 
And link to the Brackett's draft:

PDF: Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back - Brackett Draft.pdf
JPEG: Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back - Brackett Draft.zip
Author:  darthpsychotic [ May 19th 2010 7:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
myPDFscripts.com scored this and updated in Duke's post is PDF and JPEG converted pages.

ImageImageImageImage

Above are the first two and last two pages. We should really transcribe this!
Author:  Mike_Droideka [ May 20th 2010 4:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for sharing that. I was thrilled to finally be able to read Brackett's screenplay after all these years.
While it is a rough first draft and dialog is quite juvenile in places, it's interesting to see the ideas that Lucas kept and recycled, for the prequel trilogy.
As I was reading it, for some reason, it reminded me of the type of story that would have appeared in the Marvel Comic Book series.
Author:  Joe1138 [ May 20th 2010 3:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Awesome find!

Mike_Droideka wrote:
As I was reading it, for some reason, it reminded me of the type of story that would have appeared in the Marvel Comic Book series.


Haven't gone through the whole thing yet but so far I tend to agree. It definitely has a "sequel" rather than "saga" vibe to it (if you get my meaning).

I think Star Wars Insider did a piece on Brackett's contributions to Empire a few years back. Can't recall the issue but this revelation definitely makes me want to break out my old back issues and look it up.
Author:  Mike_Droideka [ May 20th 2010 11:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Interesting to see that Han Solo had a stepfather at one point. Makes me wonder if we might see this Ovan Marekal in the LAS?
Lucas' heart must have sank after he read this, as I'm sure he invested a lot of faith in Brackett, to write a good sequel script.

So what happened from this point on? Did Lucas do a couple of re-writes himself, before Kasdan entered the picture?
Or did Kasdan simply take over after Brackett passed away, and gave the script a complete re-write, together with Lucas?
Author:  Joe1138 [ May 21st 2010 12:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Mike_Droideka wrote:
So what happened from this point on? Did Lucas do a couple of re-writes himself, before Kasdan entered the picture?
Or did Kasdan simply take over after Brackett passed away, and gave the script a complete re-write, together with Lucas?


Looks like Lucas discarded Brackett's draft and had Lawrence start from scratch using his outline. In an interview with Scott Chernoff in Insider #49, Kasdan said that when he was given the job to write Empire by George, they were already in pre-production and had no script, which is interesting because Brackett's Wiki page states the following...

Quote:
Many reviewers believed that they could detect traces of Brackett's influence in both the dialogue and the treatment of the space opera genre in Empire.[3] However, Laurent Bouzereau, in his book Star Wars: The Annotated Screenplays, states that Lucas disliked the direction of Brackett's screenplay and discarded it. He then produced two screenplays before turning the results over to Kasdan, who did not work directly with Brackett's script at all. It is speculation if Lucas' assignment of credit to Brackett was a mere courtesy, a mark of respect for the work she had done during her illness, or a contractual obligation.[4] Support for this view comes from Stephen Haffner, owner of the press that printed Martian Quest: The Early Brackett, who has read Brackett's script, and claims that—outside Lucas' storyline—nothing of Brackett's personal contributions survives in the finished movie.


Insider #49 also has that feature on Brackett I mentioned earlier (can't believe my memory's that good) and backs up the claim that she was only given writing credit as a posthumous tribute.

Hopefully we'll get some clarification when Rinzler's making of book comes out later this year.
Author:  Mike_Droideka [ May 21st 2010 1:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Cool - thanks Joe, I appreciate that. :heavymetal:
Author:  stan Marsh [ May 25th 2010 5:50 am ]
Post subject: 
How did she change the whole Vader is Anakin thing, I thought that was always the plan Lucas must have mentioned it in his notes for her.
Author:  Bandersnatch [ May 25th 2010 7:03 am ]
Post subject: 
I would guess she didn't "change" it. He probably didn't tell her. He didn't even tell the director or anybody else for quite some time.
Author:  Joe1138 [ May 25th 2010 9:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, if you watch "From Star Wars to Jedi" Lucas even lets on that he was wishy-washy about the whole Vader is Luke's father thing right up until "Return."
Author:  Verboten [ May 27th 2010 10:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hate to tell you but George didn't always have it planned out that Vader was going to be the father. This draft is pretty much proof of that. The idea that Lucas wouldn't tell his writer, even for a first draft, is ludicrous. And I seriously doubt that Leigh would have added Father Skywalker on her own. Hell, it's probably a big reason this screenplay has never been released officially.

You guys should check out www.secrethistoryofstarwars.com. It's pretty enlightening as to how the saga actually evolved, without Lucasfilm's spin.

Now if only Lucas's original treatment would leak.
Author:  %20 [ June 21st 2010 9:08 am ]
Post subject: 
If you ever want the text of this draft for a reference, starkiller's script site has typed it out: /starkiller/
Author:  Ascovel [ August 31st 2010 5:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Verboten wrote:
Hate to tell you but George didn't always have it planned out that Vader was going to be the father. This draft is pretty much proof of that. The idea that Lucas wouldn't tell his writer, even for a first draft, is ludicrous. And I seriously doubt that Leigh would have added Father Skywalker on her own. Hell, it's probably a big reason this screenplay has never been released officially.


I'd say, Lucas comes with the best and most dramatic storyline ideas when he notices the original drafts' weaknesses, or even already during shooting:

- He decided to kill Obi-Wan in New Hope because there wasn't enough tension at that point in the movie and the villains didn't feel dangerous enough.
- Original drafts of Revenge of The Jedi didn't have any interesting father/son relationship exploitation and Vader pretty much stayed a 1-dimensional baddie till the very end. Luke managed to kick the emperor's butt not because his father helped him, but because the ghosts of Yoda and Obi suddenly appeared and added their powers to Luke (lame deus ex machina).
- In Revenge of The Sith all those great Palpatine tempting Anakin scenes were and afterthought and Anakin just jumped to defend Palpatine from other Jedi without having any doubts.

So I would suspect the Vader = father idea could appear in Lucas mind already after a couple of drafts were finished. ESB's story did indeed need a poignant ending of some sort.
Author:  thecolorsblend [ August 31st 2010 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd say that's a pretty fair way to put it. I do wish though that he'd just come out and admit that he just made the shit up as he went along instead of bullshitting us on this mythical outline that supposedly planned everything out in advance.
Author:  ETandElliott [ August 31st 2010 8:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
I liked the idea of Ben being Owen's brother. It also made sense that they were hiding Luke on some remote desert world as opposed to Anakin's family ties on a planet they visit in every movie, TV show, book, theme park ride, etc. Whatever.
Author:  E_CHU_TA! [ August 31st 2010 8:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Based on my own knowledge and in reading through articles at The Secret History of Star Wars website, I don't see any evidence that Vader was not Luke's father at the time ANH was filmed. I don't believe that Leigh Brackett's script counts as it’s her narrative. Besides, Lucas has stated that at the time of drafting ESB, he wasn't sure whether to reveal Luke’s lineage in the second or third movie.
Author:  Verboten [ September 1st 2010 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
What evidence is there that Vader was Luke's father during the filming of Star Wars? There's nothing in the early drafts that indicates that.

The first time George ever talked about Vader being the father was during the story conferences with Kurtz and Kershner for Empire. The rest is just George's own word.

You realize George tries to claim Luke and Leia were always siblings too, right?
Author:  E_CHU_TA! [ September 10th 2010 5:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Verboten wrote:
What evidence is there that Vader was Luke's father during the filming of Star Wars?

There's no evidence other than the name meaning "dark father" and Owen and Ben’s sideways glances.

Quote:
You realize George tries to claim Luke and Leia were always siblings too, right?

I did a little bit a research and didn’t come up with any evidence to support your claim. I even listened to some of the DVD commentary and found nothing.

I’d be surprised if this was the case as Lucasfilm has repeatedly released ANH and ESB material featuring Luke and Leia as lovers. There’s even a vintage commercial on the 2004 ANH DVD which states as much.

Overall, I think GL merely avoids the subject rather then saying definitively one way or the other.
Author:  Verboten [ September 11th 2010 3:03 am ]
Post subject: 
From The Making of Star Wars:

Quote:
Between the second and third drafts, Lucas wrote a six-page story synopsis. Dated May 1, 1975...Not long afterward Lucas, uncharacteristically, typed out a new outline...Lucas changed [Luke from a girl back into a boy], while at the same time resuscitating the princess. 'It was at that moment,' says the writer, 'that i came up with the idea that Luke and the princess are twins. I simply divided the character in two.'(p. 42)


There's also a story from Mark that he gave Lucas shit about making up the twin thing on the ride over to the set, but Lucas was adamant that that was always his plan.

The name Darth Vader was originally attributed to an imperial officer in the first rough draft.
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