Note from Pabawan: It's been almost a year since the launch of Hyperspace -- a year packed with a few bright spots but mostly wack-ass BTH pics and other substandard content like the pittiful Set Diaries, Rick's home porn cam; which he converted into the production webcam, pictures, articles, celebrity chats and more. None of which has gotten me laid or even allowed me to live a normal life. Most recently, starwars.com has added ShopStarWars.com, the official Lucasfilm online store, meant to further separate you from your hard-earned money. So buy up, suckas.
What does the future hold for Hyperspace? What new and exciting products can we expect from the store? Are the Italians really fucked? Will I ever get laid? Should I go back to my old crystal meth habit or should I finally graduate to heroin? There are big plans in the works. Either that or we'll feed you the same old shit AND YOU'LL LIKE IT.
To answer your questions about what the next year has to offer, Paul Ens (aka Ghent), Director of Lucas Online will be answering your questions.
As with all online chats, please note that the volume of questions submitted often means that not all can be answered. It doesn't mean we don't have time, it just means we don't care. One of these days you're going to have to cut the fucking ambiblical cord that is Star Wars and live your sad, pathetic lives.
ph
Ghent: Please take a moment and check out this recommended reading before chat time...
Sally Loves Goat Dick
http://www.alittlebitcountry.com
The Star Trek Society For Star Wars Bashers
http://www.trek4heckofit.com
Your Mother's Cooking Sucks
http://www.shesgettingold.com
Career Builder.com
http://www.careerbuilder.com
Padme's Left Boob What are the chances of Natalie Portman actually giving a good performance in Episode 3?
Ghent Doesn't look good.
KnobJob What the fuck is the exact plan for success in Iraq?
Ghent Establish a dictatorship. Set me and Pabs up as secretaries of state and defense. Show Phantom Menace 24 hours a day on local Tv stations.
Not Ron Jeremy Do you guys ever get pussy at conventions on the strength of working for Star Wars.com?
Ghent Oh yes, my friend. But it's more of a Quicktime VR thing. Women mock us brutally by sending us files of them fucking guys.
Bacon Fett What kind of lightsaber does Anakin use against Obi-Wan and what color will it be?
Ghent It's a goddam prop and it's pink. There, satisfied?
Senator Fuzz Nuts Why are the trailers for Episode 3 being shown on the Spice channel?
Ghent It's a tie-in Rick coordinated. Apparently he feels Star Wars should "grow up" and he wants the trailers to be shown between cum shots.
50 Eminems Whatchu gonna do after Episode 3, cuzz.
Ghent Twist my nipples and get a job at 7/11. Weeee!
Vader's Late Who is Central Rosy and what part does she play in Episode 3?
Ghent How do you know about Central Rosy?
Vader's Late I just do. Answer the fucking question.
Ghent I'm just curious..not trying to be a dick about it.
Vader's Late Maybe you should so you can get laid more.
Ghent Ok you're banned. Cya.
Vader's Late No I'm not.
Ghent SONOFABITCH!
Phantom Penis What will Grievous' voice sound like?
Ghent A cross between Fran Drescher and Harvey Firestein.
Phantom Penis So basically gay and extremely annoying.
Ghent Pretty much!
Jesus H Christ Have you seen the Passion of Christ, my son.
Ghent No I haven't. I'm waiting for the DVD. 
Jesus H Christ Let me guess, you saw Kill Bill Vol2 instead.
Ghent As a matter of fact I did.
Jesus H Christ You shall burn in hell, Pauls Ens. Unless you pre-order the Passion of Christ from Amazon.com. Usually ships in 1-2 business days.
Ghent Wonderful. Any more questions about Star Wars?
Flemmish Who's going to say "I have a bad feeling about this" in Episode 3?
Ghent Vader. Right after Palpatine tells him that Obi-Wan and Yoda are still alive.
Generic Hyperspace Toadie {insert long-winded question about the new fanclub, Hyperspace, the Insider, shipping and charging issues, inability to get said items overseas, political unrest and the unstable global economy while unemployment continues to rise in the German and French regions that have relied heavily on the Euro while lambasting the Swedes for sticking with their Krono monetary system.}
Ghent {insert long-winded response 3 paragraphs deep that soothes the concerns of the poster and reassures them that everything will be worked out in the near future once Bush is removed from office and the Swedes are forced to change and adapt to the Euro.}
Pooki Will the OT DVDs have a lot of changes to them and do you think people will have a hard time with it because Lucas changes his mind more than his underwear?
Ghent Yes and yes
Ci-PO'd Is Hayden going to be in ROTJ
Ghent Yes, he will replace Sebastian Shaw at the end when he appeared as a spirit. Here is an exclusive screencap for Hyperspace members whose names start with P and were born on a Wednesday before 1975 but after 1964.
Ci-PO'd WOW! That's... that's...fucking terrible. I'm going to shoot myself.
Ghent Don't get any blood on the computer. Dell has a good buy-back policy that excludes most bodily fluids.
Tough Tarkin Titties Is it true that Tarkin will appear at the end of Episode 3?
Ghent Yes and he'll be played by Ben Affleck.
Qui-Gon Ginn Sum Xie Adi-Mundi Bo Peep Exactly how gay is Anthony Daniels?
Ghent Resoundingly gay.
BeavusGrievous Do you know the title for Episode 3?
Ghent I know of a title.
BeavusGrievous And what would that be...
Ghent "Who Turned Off The Lights?"
BeavusGrievous Oh I get it! Because it's a dark movie and all. I never would have guessed that title. It's ingenious in its double meaning. It works on so many levels, most of which only you and your gang of Star Wars geeks know of.
Ghent I need to run, folks. There's a new batch of interns that have joined starwars.com and I need to go to the men's bathroom to jackoff while fantasizing about one in particular. It's been a pleasure and hopefully this was a little bit helpful in dealing with that huge void that occupies your life.
