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When/if he kills her, he will be Vader (without the suit) cold and feelings supressed like in EP5.
I think your take on this is a bit off. Vader was cold and unfeeling towards everyone except his son.
He displays tremendous emotions towards Luke in ESB. When it comes to family, the Skywalker's are always consistant.
Ani doesn't mean to kill Padme, he is still very much Anakin Skywalker at this moment. The problem isn't that he is cold and unfeeling, it is the exact opposite. He feels very much betrayed by his wife. This is compounded by the betrayl he feels from Obi-Wan.
The "choke", which will happen, is 100% caused by emotion.
It is only after this happens that Anakin becomes emotionally detached. Anakin then believes that he IS DARTH VADER. This is how he copes with the terrible things that his emotions have carried him to.
The whole saga deals with emotions. The whole message of the prequels is that Anakin doesn't fit in with the Jedi because he experienced the emotional love from his mother and then his wife. This leads to his downfall.
It is only when his emotions are stirred up again by his son that he can be redeemed. It was LOVE that saved Anakin and it was LOVE that saved Luke.
George's message is that you can't be a complete person unless you open your
heart and mind. The Jedi have closed theirs. Because of this, the Jedi fall. Only when a Jedi comes along that embraces his emotions and makes rational decisions on them are the Jedi redeemed.
Luke thowing down his saber symbolizes him accepting the price of his love for his father. He understands that if he truely loves him, he must be willing to pay the price. Luke's belief was that the love of his father would save him. Anakin never understood this. He wanted everything love has to offer; but, not the consequenes of this emotion. The proverbial cake and eat it too.
Bottom line: Anakin's whiny over the top emotions are precisely what GL had in mind. He will still be Anakin Skywalker when the duel takes place. It is only after he finds out what he did does he become Lord Vader.